Heavy as Clay

whirling-dervish-show

You never know what experience meditation might bring in Sahaj Marg. Many times I come out of meditation or leave a sitting thinking, “Holy cow!” We’re encouraged to journal, and I often log these experiences in my journal – as best I am able, given that the right words often escape me. Still, occassionally I am able to express these experiences in words that seem at least mostly adequate. This is rare, though.

Recently, and more than once, I have experienced something that may well be called a vision, although that term doesn’t seem to fit as neatly as it should because I’m not seeing anything in my mind’s eye so much as “seeing”” through a type of feeling.

I recall from my early years while I was a Christian stories about the first human being created from clay. Anyone who’s worked with clay before can attest to the general heaviness of the material. Until a few meditative experiences recently, I’d never before felt so very…. made of clay.

In Sahaj Marg, one will find much emphasis on subtlety and subtleness. Our practices and texts are filled with subtlety and emphasis on it. During our meditative efforts, it’s not unusual to experience increased subtleness from within where the inner landscapes are being tended. Despite knowing this, in something like 3 or 4 years of following the Sahaj Marg (mostly on, with a little off) these recent experiences are relatively new to me. I’ve almost always known and understood the physical body to be gross and dense (mind you, in a purely physical sense the body is actually mostly a grouping of water and empty space, but the perspective shifts when we consider the nature of physical forms in relation to the non-physical world and its experiences), but lately coming out of meditation has been fairly…. bothersome and a time or two, almost painful. I “return” and sometimes think to myself, “Damn. I’m heavy!”

It’s not entirely unlike going to the gym or doing a workout at home and later feeling a little sore in the areas you worked out. All possible injury aside, that kind of pain is good and understood to be a sign of progress. I’m not sure what, if anything, this kind of meditative experience says about my progress spiritually and as a human person, but it feels encouraging. Surely one of the best aspects of this path is, in addition to these kinds of proofs, the encouragement Shri Guru offers motivates us to re-enter the world as the grihastas we are and to perform this dharma to the best grihasta ability.

As we’re now encased in the perfect weather of our Spring season, a season I find to be filled with balance (hot AND cold temps, rainy AND sunny days, etc…), it’s my wish for you that you should similarly find the balance perfect for you, both in this world and the Brighter World.

Aum Shri Mahaganeshaya Namaha
Aum Shanti

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