Is it odd that I’m proud of my parents when someone compliments me?
Lest y’all think I’m overly vain or arrogant, I’ll spare you details, but suffice it to say that often enough -for one random thing or another – I’m complimented. I should admit that I have a fairly confident outlook and a really developed sense of who I am, which makes being true to myself easy -even when myself is constantly dissolving and evolving.
Oddly enough, whenever someone compliments me I immediately think of my parents. I’ve been clear enough in past posts regarding what amazing humans I perceive my parents to be. They’re surely incomplete without their own, very human, flaws, but beyond this I adore them. And no matter what someone says about me, my mind recognizes the compliment and immediately attributes it to one of four components: My father, my step-mother (my mom, before now often referred to as my mother), my birth mother, or any combination of these.
Someone says something nice to/about me and BAM – I get that from my mom. Someone else is impressed with something else and my mind immediately identifies that I inherited that trait from my father. Occasionally, I’ll encounter a mixture. For instance, some friends call on me to “win” debates they find themselves in on Facebook. For the record, when arguing or debating anything you can be sure two things will happen: I’ll not hesitate to jump in (stupid? brave?) and try to shred my “opponent,” (my unfortunate birth mother’s influence) and I’ll win (my mom should have been a lawyer and taught me well!).
These mixtures have helped form a number of “rules and observances,” my own personal yamas and niyamas, that now govern my life. One is never to ask anything of anyone that you yourself aren’t already giving, or aren’t willing to give. Another is to leave every person, place, or thing you encounter better than before you interacted with it. (I actually LOVE that personal observance because it can manifest in literally every move you make; every breath you take. Ask me and I’ll share more about this.)
Recognizing the sources of the patches in my life’s quilt is super humbling to me and makes me incredibly grateful nearly every time I turn around. This perpetual “attitude of gratitude” keeps me going some days. I know not everyone comes from a background they can be as proud of as I am mine. Still, no effect is without a cause -whether we label that cause pleasant or unpleasant is irrelevant. Be grateful for the causes that contributed to the effect that you call yourself at this moment.
Om Shanti
Sthapati Samanvayam 