Sri Rudra

Earlier last week a coworker introduced me to a game / app that, depending on your phone is either free or very inexpensive. It’s called Plague, Inc. and it’s essentially a game of strategy. The game goes like this: You’re a disease (fungus, bacteria, virus, etc…you get to choose) and your goal is to spread throughout the planet employing various transmission methods, symptoms, and “abilities” until all of life on the planet is not only infected, but also extinguished.

I love this game right now and I may well have a temporary addiction to it. No joke.

I like the game because it’s based in potential reality and it makes you think and well… it’s fun. At the start, you go through a few steps to “build” your disease and this includes naming it. One of the first names I gave my disease was Kalki. This is the name of God’s “End of Days” avatar, for the not-so-really end of days. I thought it was fitting because I’ve read that it’s possible Kalki will come as a virus or something that will pretty much wipe out humanity at the end of the Kali Yuga.

Since I’m not very much of the vaishnav persuasion, I’ve switched the name of my disease to Rudra, a fierce form of Mahesh / Shiva. Since Kalki, being of Vishnu, comes more to restore / balance dharma on the planet and not so much to wipe the so-called slate (entirely) clean, it seems more fitting that one of Mahadev’s names would be used (at least by me). Mahadev is, after all, the one who’s dance brings actual, lasting balance as it eliminates the entirety of phenomenal good and phenomenal bad, the result of which is the Mahapralaya – when everything phenomenal and causal is finally given rest.

I can see, given that folks raise hell over our gods showing up increasingly in secular usage, that some would be offended by the idea that a devastating disease would be named after something holy. I’m not, although I did hesitate to share all of this because I know many non-saivas already have an inaccurate and incomplete understanding of Shiva to be that He’s primarily known for destruction – and even then the common understanding of that word, destruction, is misapplied. However, in regard to gods in secular settings, in my opinion this isn’t the same as putting god on a pair of socks or a bikini bottom. What do you think?

For your viewing pleasure I’ve included many shots of different parts of the game in its progression.

Aum Shri Mahaganeshaya Namaha
Aum Shanti

Advertisement

तांडव

Shiva

20131130. This is the date of the last day I’ll be doing hair, professionally. I’ve been a licensed cosmetologist for most of my adult life. I started hair school only a few weeks before my beloved and I met. I still remember the early days of that education, receiving text messages from him, and smiling. I thought I had been smiling to myself, but it was outwardly obvious enough that it made the gals in my class speculate that I’d met someone new and interrogate me thusly.

Since those days, I have had an interesting career in hair and I find myself smiling more at the mental images of my beloved than at his texts. There were times in my hair career when I made hardly enough income for gas money, let alone student loans, groceries, car payment, phone bill, etc… There were also times when I made enough to do all those necessary things and have had money left over for frivolous things for myself AND spending > $400/month on personal training for my beloved. I encountered people who couldn’t have been pleased had I turned their hairs into spun gold and people who became so loyal to my hairdressing talents that they remained with me virtually my entire career. There have been plenty who made me want to hang my shears up right then and there, and many who have made me feel so honored and valued that the thought of not servicing them – or anyone else – seems painful for me.

But, things change. They must eventually, otherwise they must eventually face death. That will seem peculiar to some, but the truth is: Change is not synonymous with destruction.

I’m far from old, but I’m definitely not as young as I used to be. Heading into my mid-30s, I can already notice an enormous difference between the me I was and the me I am and am becoming. I also recently took a position at work that pays more, but requires more of me. And then there’s school, which not only seems endless but also as I progress in my degree the work is becoming more demanding. The short of it all, is that there simply isn’t enough of me for two jobs, full-time school, and other activities like entertaining the best for game nights and temple stuff.

This has led me to retire from the hair industry entirely. For many years I worked full time hours. Then I entered school, found a different job, and cut my hair hours more than a little. Some time later, I cut my hours even further. Now – well, as of the 30th of this month – I’ll be cutting them entirely. And it’s scary.

It’s scary because I’ll miss it. It’s been a wonderful and creative outlet for me for a number of years and when you work for a technology company and a cancer treatment center you need that kind of outlet. It’s also been a good way for me to hone my people-reading skills. I dare say I’m an expert at it by now – you can’t possibly be someone’s priest, bartender, and psychologist rolled into one body and not walk away without having developed some pretty great and intuitive skills. Having this job has also allowed for spending money and a nearly free gym membership for me and the beloved for the better part of a decade. That will be missed (for now we’re retaining the membership, but it’s no longer free and will cost us more than $100 / month). And those things, all intuitive advancement aside, are mostly superficial. I have known so many interesting and wonderful and horrible people – none of which I’d really ever trade for anything. I’m a different person because of them.

Here’s the real kicker: Holding onto ANY of it, ruins all of it. None of it is mine to keep – whether I step away from the industry or not. None of it. It’s served an immense value in my existence, and hopefully that of many other people. On many levels that value is spent for now. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But whether I love it or not, its not mine to keep. Even my beloved isn’t mine to keep, as painful as that seems to even consider. My household is in for significant change after the end of this month – financially, among other aspects. This is a source of aprehension, but it’s no reason to fear. Nothing about the now is mine to retain, and in fact the beginning of an attempt to retain automatically means suffering and decay. What lessons we can learn from staying present and relinquishing our attachments – which are only ever founded in fear! Be sure of it.

Shiva, Lord of Yogis

There are so many things from this career adventure that I have benefitted from. I can only hope that those I’ve serviced for the last 9+ years have received as much from me as I have from them. If I may, I’d give one last thingto my clients: Any grace that is mine to give, I gladly forward on to you. My very best to you!

Aum Shri Mahaganeshaya Namaha
Aum Shanti

Cupid Schmupid

A few days ago, on Facebook, a best of mine posted a mostly bitter status update that sounded like a moody teenager. He ranted about Valentine’s Day. He’s single and while he does very well without a “better half,” he would much rather have it. His post, in his own words, amounted to the sum of a very whiney “It’s a stupid holiday.” One person commented with something like, “Agreed! It’s just a stupid commercial holiday anyway.”

Umm… ALL holiday’s are commercial. Literally. Unless there’s a holiday that doesn’t involve you going to any store for any reason, it’s commercial. So, since commercialism is the ruin of all holidays let’s throw them all out, yeah? No. Regardless of the origin of any given holiday, or the degree of commercialism involved, each and every holiday is what you make it – and it’s also what you don’t make it. I see a strange parallel here to karma.

If for you, Christmas is about the birth of your Satguru (Jesus), then that should be your focus during that celebratory time. If, for you, Christmas means shopping … so be it. Although both approaches hold different value, neither approach is less valid. The same can be said about any holiday, including Valentine’s Day. Lamenting the apparent commercialism of a holiday simply implies that you have lost your own sight or that you sense you’re left behind by the progression of the holiday through time and culture – in which case I might suggest you re-evaluate what you actually think the holiday means to you, because something like this likely indicates you’re actual conflict is with yourself. All holidays undergo evolution just like religions and people and life in general.

In the world of phenomena, where we live and operate, anything that hopes to remain must be able to change. Shiva, the god of destruction, doesn’t destroy life, He allows for and encourages its continuance! Anything that is preserved as it was is stagnate and in the process of decline and death, or never possessed life. Change is a primary symptom of life and often indicates growth. Paradoxically, while we often equate change with destruction, nothing can exist if it doesn’t change, and the destruction we perceive is usually that of the subtle attachments we held for something that was never meant to last, or at least wasn’t really ours to be attached to. That which ceases to change – or at least seems to maintain – might seem preserved, and possibly for a short time it is, but there’s no actual power in this, and ultimately it becomes outdated, ineffective, and petrified – much like some people’s views of holidays.