Being a positive influence in someone’s life doesn’t always mean making them happy.
Most people think that having a positive influence on someone is to make them happy. I suggest that this, as an automatic assumption, is a mistake and can create as much problem as it can create potential benefit. To illustrate this, I’ll detail examples found in the concepts of the guru and of the bodhisattva.
The most obvious example, of these two concepts, is that of the guru. The definition of guru varies from source to source, but usually always comes back to something along the lines of a balancing, guiding, wisdom –a teacher of the highest regard. Truly, the highest and most trustworthy of gurus is that Guru which resides within every conscious organism, but of which the organism is almost never aware. I’ll denote this form with a capital letter. This form of Guru is cosmic and universal and pervades everything, with a “higher concentration” in beings possessing consciousness. Ultimately, the voice of this Guru would be heard loud and clear if the conscious being was less ensnared in Maya and better able to separate awareness from consciousness. However, because this is virtually never the case, a more obvious and mundane manifestation of the Guru is required. This, too, can take a million forms, but for humans specifically, often comes in the form of another human. This form of the Guru has a little “g” and can seem like a mixed bag.
On one hand, the human guru is able to relate knowledge of the Infinite to others in ways that are easily digested by the under-developed mind. On the off-chance that the mind is unable to comprehend, this form of the Guru might sometimes need to resort to more direct and even physical means of conveying the lesson to its recipient. In things I’ve read, this can take many forms including strong words or even a whack on the side of one’s head.
Another instance of someone/thing affecting a positive influence on someone’s life is the instance of the bodhisattva. For anyone unfamiliar with the term, and to keep this short and sweet, a very basic definition of the bodhisattva includes a fully aware (aka karmically/egoically liberated), yet still individualized portion of the Infinite which has vowed to forego eternal bliss in mahasamadhi in the Infinite to instead manifest, life cycle after life cycle, in the physical worlds for the sake of helping others also find liberation.
This sounds very hunky-dory, but truly is an assumption. The truth is, some must learn the hard way and many times there seems to be no choice except to pull the karmic band-aid, hair-by-hair, from the arm it’s stuck to. In this way, a bodhisattva can be like the guru whopping someone on the side of his head, and indeed, many gurus are bodhisattvas.
I’d like to also point out that, whether someone is a guru or bodhisattva or neither, it’s possible to help lead others and have a positive influence. Further, just as with bodhisattvas and gurus, it’s possible that this can be done without necessarily inducing a smile on that person’s face. I feel many times people have the assumption that to be a positive force, you must necessarily be making people smile or love you or at least want to say good things about you. Not true. Those things depend on two factors.
The first is those being helped must be not only aware of that help, but appreciative. This can seem remarkably rare. The second hinges on their level of ego (ahankara). In my opinion, this factor is the most crucial. Someone possessing a smidge too much ego may well be aware of the benefit being afforded them by the other person, but won’t value it as much on account of their ego having a stronger say than the opportunity they’ve been given. In this case, the reaction of the one being helped is likely to be one of aggression. They’ll often lash out, use harsh words, and attempt to reject the help-often succeeding for the moment.
I think in these situations, it would be incredibly trying for the guru/bodhisattva. I say this, knowing what I know and having tried helping those I’ve tried to help… and being met with responses like, “You can’t see two feet in front of you!” Um… no, I actually can. I’m no guru and nor am I a bodhisattva, but even what little help/perspective I’m able to offer others often feels like throwing pearls to swine (a concept I don’t even believe in, really). I can only imagine how frustrating it would be for someone who can offer so much more for another’s benefit, only to be scorned or rejected, completely unappreciated.
It continually amazes me that the ignorant are ignorant of their ignorance. I suppose this is par for the course in Kali Yuga. This applies to me as well… I look back on some of my actions or words, and literally cringe at my own behavior from when I was younger. Some people, though, who are decades older than myself exhibit traits and behaviors that are worse than I ever did in my most juvenile stages. I mean, I know we all are learning as we go. I’m not talking about that. But whatever.
I think before I begin rambling more than I already have, I’ll close.
Om Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah
Sarve Shantu Nir-Aamayaah |
Sarve Bhadraanni Pashyantu
Maa Kashcid-Duhkha-Bhaag-Bhavet |
Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih ||
Om, May All become Happy,
May All become free from Illness.
May All see what is Auspicious,
Let no one Suffer.
Om Peace, Peace, Peace.