…samyag akhyate

Namaskar,

I was born and grew up in Indiana, in the USA. My current life began in 1980, but by most folks’ accounts I look like I was born closer to 1990. I’m educated. I’m gay. I’m usually bossy, but it’s for your own good. I’m almost addicted to chocolate and I am definitely addicted to playing in rivers. I used to be a hairdresser and have also been a clinical medical professional. Currently, my position is in IT for a medical clearinghouse. My biggest fears are heights, suffocating, and disappointing my parents. I make strong efforts at avoiding each of those things. I can read palms with a decent degree of accuracy and my favorite thing to learn about, all spirituality aside, is language. I’m often very direct in my speech and try always to be equally honest. I typically loathe numbers, but adore those who are skilled in them. I think because that’s something for which my brain seems to have no room. I’m a boddhisattva at my core (which is why I’m bossy and it’s for YOUR good, not mine). This sometimes gets me into trouble – if not from my own occasionally misguided efforts, then because of other people’s egos.

To some I’m a sage, but mostly I just try to be a friend. I’m a non-indian Hindu now, but was once a Protestant Christian, and was baptized Catholic as an infant. I was born into a non-theistic / agnostic household and raised by parents who love me muchly. During my teens and very early adult life I became a devout Christian; an era of my life that ended in two pretty distinct phases: The first was when I was tossed out of my church for being gay. The second was the final nail in my christian coffin and happened more gradually, but occured after a very brief discussion with a very liberal (and gay) pastor on what form God takes to those who believe.

In the early years of this century I began learning about Hindu dharma (Sanatana Dharma). The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn. The more I continue to want to learn, the clearer it becomes that Hinduism is where my home has always been. On that note, I often feel like I’m the only white Hindu in the state of Indiana. It’s technically not true, but it sure feels like it most of the time. As hodge-podgey as this is going to sound, my current spiritual life exists in a rather triune state.

1. I attend worship at my local temple on a monthly basis. Occassionally, I’ll go more than once a month to various pujas or aartis, but mostly my visits are once a month during the busiest service of the month called Gita Mandal.
2. A little more specifically, I direct my devotion primarily between the Gurus / Masters of the Sahaj Marg. In this way, I pursue Raja/Jnana Yoga through the method established by The Sahaj Marg. We’re not an expansionist sect by any means, but for those who are curious, additional information on Sahaj Marg can be found here, here, and here.
3. Finally and most generally, I maintain a temple in my home wherein Ganesha is the Mahadev and is my Ishtadevata. He is accompanied by murtis of Lakshmidevi, and Shiva Nataraj (and a lingam), as well as Hanuman, Brahma, Nrsimha, and framed murtis of Amma ParaShakti and Shri Shubh Dhrishti Ganapati. The Bhagavad Gita is my Bible, although I am more often reading from the works of the aforementioned guru-jis or earlier sages like Patanjali. Overall, I’m more of a Smrta with strong saiva/ganapatya inclinations.

Truth be told, I often desire a formal conversion to Hinduism as it feels like a logical “next step” after learning about / following / living the Hindu dharma for over a decade already. I haven’t taken that leap yet, though, and I’m not sure I ever really will. Until I can ascertain the actual and ultimate purpose of such an act (and expense!), I’m unlikely to go for it – my current beliefs make me inclined to see the whole thing as a type of reinforcement of externality, which life already comes with in no short supply.

I created this space for a number purposes (Many of which are mentioned in the very first post, if you care to dig that out. You should care to.). It’s my sincerest goal that something I include here would benefit you. I’m sharing my life experiences and my views on things for the purpose of challenging the box I’ve stuck myself in as well as the one you’ve imposed on yourself. I’m very open to debate if it’ll get you (and me!) thinking and growing. I hope you’ll enjoy my place here, I hope you’ll come back often, and I hope you’ll share with me as I do with you.

With warm regards from my heart and all the grace that is be mine to give,

– Joshua